2day reil shui mia...

bunteh feel lik wanna find u sms...

but i control myself not 2...

manazai dat moment u sent lai say no nid fetch u 2moro...

chat a while...

i said i very very very tired le...

thn soon i fall asleep tim...

gai nia...

thn whn u angry dat msg i oni wake up...

u angry again!!! maiceh leh...

i knw its my fault but can u dun alwaz suddenly angry le?

i hate dat feel oso...

dun juz think bout urself oni k?

kip explain but u dun wan 2 accept it...

i open laptop... yuan lai i no appear off9 oso...

knw ur angry x3 ady... gai...

y u still angry lik dat... i not ur bf anymore u knw?

u use wat attitude 2 angry me?

reli duno...

now is d 7th day v break ady...

no dat sad any more...

its bcum lik b4 again...

d lonely me again...

now i cant slp again...

although i very tired now...

my eye was pain...

i cant find any ppl 2 chat wif me...

my phone now was so silent since v break...

2day go achery...

haha... WTH...

do shit thing again...

i think mayb i suit 2 shoot myself...

shoot myself n song myself thr...

i think i wanna giv up on archery ady...

lazy... haiz...

2moro muz more hapi!!! gambateh!!!

its almost time 4 dis site 2 disappear~ ^^

我发现我越来越奇怪了...

怎么我写在这里的东西就好像是和你讲一样...

可能有点神经病了...xD

算了...开学了...

可以见到你了...

可是你不可能会像以前那样了...

可惜星期五我还不能搞定我自己...

至少不用那么尴尬...

昨天终于勉强在两点就睡了...

可是原本打算去爬山却没醒

没用的我... 好彩明天你可以打给我醒...

可惜却不能听到你声音醒...

以前幻想的你来我家叫我起床的幸福现在变成了不可能...

sms了你几封...你开始像对ah teh这样对我...

我只好走...因为我不想像他脸皮厚厚赖着不走...

可是我终于明白他有多可怜和多有毅力...

那天在startbuck你还讲我有酱对过你咩?

恩...你...很好...

我又突然重回去...

可是我今天没特别吃什么啊...

早餐... 就到晚餐才吃tomyam...才两餐而已...

没理由...难道喝水肥?

真的是搞不清楚我的身体是要怎样...

希望我能得厌食症...

^^

2day still slp 5++

finally make a decision...

mood bcum gd...

from ur action ytd...

i tot u wan 2 b lik b4...

i wake nearly 12...

i knw u wan class ady...

so i wait...

2.30 rest?

thn i go jing wei huz ply a while...

reli mood bcum gd a ady...

wait until 3++

finally sent u d msg...

i cant wait until 7...

coz i so nervous...

ur answer make me disappoint again...

i disappoint of myself...

i tot dis time v can bak to one piece but i m wrong...

totally wrong...

form ur msg...

i reli duno sud i bliv 4 it onot...

no feel? u reli dun wan like dat?

OMG~ WTF!!!

thn u begin reply me short...

ya.

oh.

done... i giv my last hope on i love u... but u juz OH...

ok... mayb i nid reset myself n wait 4 new FATE

i tot v both got fate... many time i go whr u oso can c me...xD

but... it end... mayb ytd i should not endure any more...

i sud giv u a hug dat i alwaz wan 2 giv u...

since laz time...

i knw i m not d 1 u hope 4...

but i try my best 2 chg...

i reli try so hard... n think duno how many time wan 2 giv up

but i wan 2 kip my promise 2 u...

i start 2 regret on wat i reply 2 u wednesday...

if ur 1st msg not ask me time or seperate how gd...

mayb u won so idiot... reply without consider very long time 1st...

so long i din regret...

bcoz in my dictionary i ady took away dat word...

since i start my failure life...

i decide 2 enjoy my life...

actually i wan tell u long time ady...

dun kip say i hate ppl giv reason CNT STUDY or wat...

i knw dat reason... i used 2 b top student since small...

i oso duno y thr r many guys so suffer in study...

y dey can giv blank paper....

cincai write oso ok mah...

since i fallen... i knw wat d feel...

its so terrible... thr is totally blank in brain...

lik a blackhole... so scary...

i bet u duno dat...

mayb u not top in JS...

but around u make u think dat is 理所当然...

atleast dun deny it 4 dis thing...

coz u a bit oso duno dat...

2day nearly crush wif a motor while my mind suddenly black out again...

m i still in disappoint mood after all?

however after disappoint...

i find u normally in nite...

v chat a bit...

i start 2 confuse who u reli r...

reli...

u wrote...你变得很陌生,不是以前的那个你了...

although u said not me...

but i tot is me...

i reli chg... i kip emo all d time...

even worse thn laz time...

bcoz i duno wat 2 do next...

but got 1 thing sud b glad...

weight drop a bit... 76...

i left my stomachache lik dat oni...

atleast leave it sum feel on my body...

suddenly feel wanna accident again...

i wan 2 knw dat r u concern me now?

but i won do it bcoz u sure will very angry...

but i not sure either i can stay safe...

bcoz my mind kip blink u out...

it block my sight on road...

lastly...bunteh wan try tell u sth by my personal msg...

but u off jor... b4 i finish it...

mayb u wan slp jor..

glad dat u normal bak le...

thx sky thx ground...

since u up my car...

i not dare 2 look 2 ur side...

i scare i will stare u until dun wan move my sight away...

i reli lik 2 c u...

dis is d face dat i kip thinkin of...

do u knw? no u dont...T^T

in starbuck...

i pretend n i try very focus on my work...

coz i scare i will think think think n my eye will wet again...

u touch me few time... especially my scar...n oso my finger...

i duno how 2 react... i duno wat u mean...

i confuse... i cant make myself calm...

i make my face EMO a bit ady is my limit...

lucky dat whn u focus copy ur thing time i got c u a while...

atleast got a bit my MISS can b decrease...

in way bak 2 home...

whn u near me n smell me...

i shocked... u knw i panic again?!

wat d condition now...

ntg happen? i kip endure bcoz i scare i will cry thn...

i deep breath... push my emotion bak...

hehe... whn i bcum normal ME again...

but u din talk le... i saw u sms wif teh...

so? wat can i do again?

whn i PIU YI~

juz simply ply oni...

lookin ur funny reaction... xD

hapi bak...

its ntg ok?

bunteh i wan stop thr in d same place...

2 hav sum talk...

i wanna kiss u again...

its d last time...

i wan 2 memorize it 4 whole life...

but ur reaction... lik scare i will hurt or rap u...

done... dun wan force u...

although i oso think few sec...

i giv up le...

reach home called u...

but u juz answer en en ah ah oh oh...

if ur answer is other...

i reli wan 2 tell u i reli love u n giv me a chance...

coz juz now i knw u try very hard 2 pretend ntg happen...

i get ur signal... v continue bak bah...

but it juz a dream now...

nvm... let me miss u 4 last time 2day...

i think i got answer 4 my last msg ady...

reli reli final decision le bah...

dun soft heart ady... yeap maw shen...

反正你都不会开我的blog了的...

就在这里写吧...

此刻的心情...

好累...好空虚...

无人倾诉...应该说是我不怎么想找人倾诉...

可是我知道你一定比我难过...

所以我要办得无所谓很开心...好让你觉得无所谓了...

那么你才会好过些...

我真的好想你...我电话每次响时我都好希望是你...

我不敢找你...因为我觉得你不是很想看到我的名...

我知道你很烦...哎...都是我的错...

看到你on9时又不敢找你讲话...

好怕你不理我...我很多次惹你生气都是在msn...很奇怪...

所以我不怎么喜欢用msn和你chat...

我也很讨厌哪种感觉...然后过后找你你就不理人了...

每次都这样...尤其是你关我电话...

恨透了...这是什么态度啊?!虽然隔一天你就没事了...

可是我还是不喜欢...你每次就会说我以前就这样了...

"他"也是一样的啊...你每次就会跑一个他出来...

很多次...你都无意识的拿他出来比较...

我是我...他是他...

我真的很讨厌...

我就想...

你这么不满意我吗?

当你讲你现在每天还在想他...特地花一分钟去想他时...

我就开始放弃了...我真的崩溃了...

我心里突然好空...好恐怖...

因为你不是我的...和我在一起一个月多...

虽然你说过你不敢和我在一起因为怕我hurt到...

我不怕...可是我hurt 到因为我没用...

我蠢...我自己找来的...是我想太多...

我还影响不到你...

可能这是我的命...aunty 算得准...

昨天回到家...原本我不想找你的...

让我冷静吧...哪里知道你一来就 give me time or seperate...

算了...我感觉到了你的心意...

因为我记得你说过你不想讲分的...

那让我来吧...

对不起... 我好自私...

我的初恋就这样完了...

我有点不甘心...

因为好久没亲你了...

好想抱你...好像有一个月了...好久...

我一直想别人会这样吗?

真的好想你...

我就一直坐在电脑前面...

看我的anime...至少会有一瞬间是没有想东西的...

爽爽就跑去抄ekooi...

抄一下我又开始分心了...

我的眼眶总突然间湿一下又干回...

不多...也没流出来...

肚子一点都不饿...可是空虚让我一直想找东西吃...

一得空就要找吃...好彩家里没什么可以吃...

别人突然间来问我怎么回事我也只是说我们分了...然后 ^^ 我没事啦...

哈哈...阳光哦我...

国庆找我出去...

我不想...也突然没剩多少钱了...

算了...我比较喜欢自闭一个人...

就睡睡一下...醒来就看电脑...

看戏...一下一下就开FB blog 看你有写什么吗?

今天下午突然被你的msg叫醒...

我很意外...难道我还有机会?

send了几封...哈哈...我又想太多了...

跑去打球吧...那时不想再想...

可是打着球又想有没有机会?

就好想问你...

等我瘦下来...你才接受我...

给了你时间...又有个好理由...

我应该没那么容易瘦下来的...

等了好久...终于下定决心打给你...

如果你不接就算了...

反正你一直都这样...

可是过后你打给我...

我又犹豫了一下...

我听了...

电话里你的声音好小...

听得出你不知道要怎么回我...

既然你都开始放下了...

我就心灰意冷了...

原本还在想我是不是还会去secret recipe...

可你这样...没了...也忘了吧...

我剩下的就只是回忆吧...

讲真的...我开始忘记你的唇是什么感觉...

我已经忘记抱你是怎样了...

好喜欢你这个表情...

可惜我按错...video

我们的最后一次

谢谢你把很多欢笑带给我...

自从遇见你...我真正的笑多了...

我们唯一能看的合照...

早就想拍了...就因为"大庭广众"

没什么机会...因为靠近你你就闪了...

我很羡慕别人有好多他们的照片...

我们的第一个月...

同样的星期五...同样的viva...

同样的夜晚...

我那天晚上真的很开心...

好多回忆的地方...那天应该是你第一次过百...

那天还是我等了好多天才能有机会和你出去...

因为你忘了我们的约定...

又一直和你朋友出去

这个不会忘了吧...

就是这一天我很不爽...

然后又吵了一架...

因为我真的人好多天了

可以算是第一次约会吧...

因为有两个人一下子...

也是那天你第一次抱了我...

刚开始喜欢你不久时...

就这样完了...

发现...

我们的故事就完了...

its ends tonight~

my mood now is quite grey~

haha...

2day is laz day of my 1st love...

2day went sunway watch alice in wonderland wif her...

so long time din go date wif her le...

quite hapi but skip all d things lah...^^

good time won last long...

whn v talk bout our "sim su"~

finally start our fate of end ^^

i knw dat u reli cant put down on ur ex...

everytime in our conversation... i alwaz can heard sth bout HIM

i knw u won accept him bak if now he turn bak 4 u~

but in ur heart... 4 now... ntg can erase all things dat u both been thru~

i felt dat i m ntg 4 u, knw?

i m lik ur "hand"fren nia~

reli felt our distance increase every single day~

while u day dreamin... i will think dat u r thinkin bout him again...

i reli din hav feel of safety

inside me was so empty...

haha... well...

i wan u 2 knw...

its not ur fault but me...

i cant make u 4get bout him...

its not u hurt-ed me... but myself...

bcoz i not enuf work hard on it...

its i say GOODBYE coz i dun wan u endure so hardly...

u sud relax n wait sum1 who u reli love 1 day~

i think its not me...

whn u said "do u think v can last long" 2day?

i sure enuf wat u thinkin ady... reli sry i cant give u a sweet memory...

but alwaz make u angry... sry...

i din HIAM u bcoz u r gd enuf ady...

i sad bcoz who i m n wat i done~

very glad dat last day i still can date wif u...

n sry dat my EMO face har...

memory of 2day i will kip it quite long time...

babe~dun sad bcoz u tot u hurt me knw?

v still fren... who bully u juz call me...

butt him deadly...

without dis long gas guy u sud b glad...

thx 4 ur wallet too...

i very love it...

treasure it n use it until it broken sum day~

juz lik my hand d "black green"

it will recover day after DAY

i bliv ur heart would b d same...

1 thing i wan remind u...

even without me...

u oso cant ON wif sum1 who is dangerous u knw?

seriously!!! worry~

goodbye my love~

MooOoooOOoo~